Fall - My Favorite!

Fall is here! (the view from my balcony)

Can you feel it, see it, smell it? I can and I love it! Fall to me is the most amazing season. There is something calm about the season, as if everyone is shifting from such a hectic summer back into the work/school mode. The temperature is just perfect, not too hot, but definitley not cold. Just right to be able to cuddle up in your favorite sweatshirt if you feel the need but not absolutely necessary. I am sitting on my porch, although I have enough work to do, enjoying my gorgeous view. I can hear the bugs and birds and the hustle and bustle of Alexandria City, and possibly Washinton D.C too. The kids in the neighborhood below are running around playing and excited to be going back to school soon and seeing all their friends. If you go into the stores they are already putting up halloween stuff which is by far my favorite holiday! I didn't have the best day but this weather puts me in the absolute best mood I could be in. I feel calm and relaxed and happy. I feel like there is something that connects me to this season, and the past few years the fall has been little to non-existent around here and very disappointing.. but not this year.

As a kid I remember sitting outside in my yard at the Glenview Court house ( which I happen to live 3 blocks away from now, how ironic) an listen to these sounds. I remember my mother making me go to bed for school in the morning and being completely irritated because the sun was still up! haha! My brother and I use to look for turquoise rocks in the dirt beneath one of my favorite climbing trees, and still to this day I don't know how that turquoise got there and wonder if you can still find it. Every season you can find something to complain about summer - its too hot or too humid, winter - too cold i can't get to work blah blah blah, spring - um it rains to much? But Fall, you can't complain its perfect! I am so grateful for this gift. I really think that this is a treasure, and I feel like someone decided hey sam needs a break, lets let fall really be fall this year. :)

Oh and P.s. I got another bonus from work for doing a great job mentoring and being a team player :)

Fear

Today I had a very intense experience. I had to spend most of the day in Warrenton driving a client of mine to a FAPT meeting to ensure that we had funding for her supervised visits. On the way back I looked to my right and saw my mothers ex boyfriend, a face that has haunted me since I was about 5 years old. Even though I have come so far and I am happy with where I am this was a very scary 2 minutes for me. I have seen him before this and even talked to him, briefly, it was all I could do not to runaway. I just find it amazing that after all this time, he still haunts my dreams and he still makes my heart jump into my throat when I see him. He did not see me as far as I know and thankfully I was driving and was able to get away from him and avoid a reconnection but it still affected me. It bothers me that something like this could just give me such a creepy feeling that I can't shake. I hate that he still has that control over me and I want more then anything to let it go. I realize that I have let go of what happened and am not trying to change the past. I also realized though that I hope I never run into him again. He is not someone I ever want back into my life.